“Being able to feel safe with other people is probably the single most important aspect of mental health; safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and satisfying lives. Numerous studies of disaster response around the globe have shown that social support is the most powerful protection against becoming overwhelmed by stress and trauma.
Social support is not the same as merely being in the presence of others. The critical issue is reciprocity: being truly heard and seen by the people around us, feeling that we are held in someone else’s mind and heart. For our physiology to calm down, heal, and grow we need a visceral feeling of safety. “
- Bessel A. van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
And every day, the world will drag you by the hand, yelling, “This is important! And this is important! And this is important! You need to worry about this! And this! And this!” And each day, it’s up to you to yank your hand back, put it on your heart and say, “No. This is what’s important.
i just remembered one time in kindergarten i punched this girl i knew because we were drawing birds and she drew her bird with a human nose and mouth and it pissed me off so badly i went into like berserker mode
"Sadly, girls’ trauma is more likely to be missed than that of boys. In children younger than about 11, boys tend to act out and behave badly if they are unhappy - so their trauma is noticed and (hopefully) addressed.Girls tend to react by becoming “people pleasers”. It’s as if they see trauma as a punishment, and hope that they can avoid it by being “good”. They will talk less, work harder, always be springing up ready to help anyone with anything at the slightest indication they may want it. They watch the emotional states of adults like a hawk and soothe, placate and offer practical help at the slightest sign of anger or displeasure. As this is the kind of behavior encouraged in girls, no one takes any notice until it’s too late."
when you can sense a Mood incoming and feel like a farmer standing in a field looking out at the horizon as the storm approaches like “looks like it’s gonna be a bad one, boys”
